


Echoes of a Broken World

by Stargaze_Sunflower



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Kai (Ninjago), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jay Walker Angst, Jay Walker Needs a Hug, Jay is traumatized, Platonic Relationships, Protective Cole, Protective Kai, Skybound - Freeform, but he makes up for it by caring about his family, cole and jay friendship, cole has dreams about skybound, cole is jays best friend, here take it, i wrote this in one day and finished it five minutes ago, jay spills the beans about skybound, kai lacks tact, listen skybound needs more attention, protective Nya, technically, this is after season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargaze_Sunflower/pseuds/Stargaze_Sunflower
Summary: They don't remember the events of Skybound, notreally, but they're affected by it all the same.Cole has dreams.Kai somehow says all the wrong things.They're figuring it out.
Relationships: Cole & Jay Walker, Kai & Jay Walker
Comments: 13
Kudos: 68





	1. Cole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole has dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought of this yesterday, and I've been rewatching Skybound, so now there's this. Whoops. I want more of Jay and Cole being best friends in the show, but until that happens, here's this. I hope you like it :D

Cole, as a rule, does not have many dreams. Whenever he happens to have them, he doesn’t normally remember them, and if he _does_ remember them, then there’s a good chance that it was less than pleasant. So to say that he’s _confused_ about the recent turn of events that has him dreaming every night would be an understatement. He’s baffled, and worried, and he’s reaching the end of his rope. 

At first, the dreams make relative sense. He dreams that they actually _do_ go to Stiix to stop Clouse, that Dareth takes them there in his helicopter, and that they search, but they don’t find him. Cole wakes up, a little disoriented, and the memory of the dream doesn’t fade. He chalks it up to having eaten something strange for dinner the night before. For all intents and purposes, Cole forgets. 

Except it keeps happening.

The next time he dreams, he’s in prison, which— yeah, that’s strange, because he didn’t know that this was something he’d been worried about. All his friends are there with him, and their powers are locked beneath vengestone, and they’re wearing stripes and eating lunch and talking about—

Cole wakes up, and he feels the weight of shackles on his wrists for the rest of the day.

The next night, he’s on a ship – not the bounty – and he’s staring across the cockpit at someone he’s never seen before, someone with a mustache and a gun, and Cole knows that he’s there for a reason. The person shoots, and the bullet goes straight through him – being a ghost _did_ have its perks – and ricochets around the room. He hears something shatter, and time skips ahead and he’s holding a lantern, and he’s proud, because that was his mission wasn’t it? They need the lantern to find the thing they need in order to stop—

He wakes up.

He keeps dreaming.

He dreams he’s in a dark room, sitting on a couch with Jay, who is looking at him with scared, lost eyes, and he’s asking Cole to make a promise that he’s not sure he can keep. ( _“Please, I’m asking you, as my best friend.” “But if anyone else gets hurt— “_ ) 

Cole blinks, and he’s on a boat. Another location that he doesn’t recognize; another place he’s never seen before in his life. It’s a fancy, expensive looking white sailboat, and they’re sailing it straight through a storm. Kai’s not there, Kai’s gone, and Cole doesn’t know how he knows this to be true. There’s wind whipping past him and there’s tiny drops of seawater burning his skin, and Jay’s busy being a human lightning rod. They crash, and Zane’s gone, and Cole _knows_ that it’s because Jay didn’t tell the rest of them about—

He's standing on a ledge, Lloyd and Nya and two empty spaces by his side, and they’re looking out at a cave that Cole knows Jay went into. They’re on an island, they’ve made it this far, and he knows that he’s worried about whatever Jay’s supposed to be doing in there. He’s mad at him, too, for some unclear reason, but that doesn’t mean that he wants him to be hurt. That doesn’t mean that he wants to lose him.

The world swirls, and adrenaline is pumping through his veins. Distantly, he can hear the familiar sound of Jay’s panicked screaming – _“Oh, sorry for the delay! I’ve never had to milk the fangs of a giant spider before!”_ – and Cole is throwing punches at an enemy he can’t quite make sense of. He lands one, and there’s a part of him that feels vindicated, a part of him that wishes he could land a thousand more to make that monster pay for what he did to Kai and Zane, for what he’s going to do to Jay—

And Jay is gone. Jay is gone in a different way than Kai and Zane are. Jay is gone in a way that is dangerous, and terrifying, and makes Cole want to punch walls. His best friend is in the hands of an enemy who will stop at nothing to get him to—

Cole wakes up, shaking and sweating, and he watches a sleeping Jay breathe for a while, more confused than ever before, feeling like he’s failed in some important way. 

Cole keeps dreaming.

He dreams that he’s on an island, _stuck_ , and he knows that he wants more than anything to find a way off of it. Jay’s in trouble, and he got captured thinking that everyone was mad at him, that what he’d done was unforgivable. And Jay _had_ done something wrong, but Cole wasn’t petty. Cole was Jay’s best friend. He’s got to save him, has to make sure that Jay knows he’s worth saving. Lloyd and Nya are there, also feeling guilty and similarly motivated, and they’re building a raft but something is stopping them, there’s something beneath the sand—

They get off the island. And— and now they’re building an airship? There’s a bunch of things that he can’t make sense of, like Ronan, and the Commissioner, and Dareth. Cole and Nya and Lloyd are surrounded by an odd assortment of seemingly random people, and they’re talking about Jay, who’s _missing_ , who Cole is worried about, and it’s the kind of worry that you feel in your bones. They’re desperate, and they don’t have any sort of real plan, but they’re running out of time so they go with the _“best bad idea”_ that they have and—

Time skips around willy-nilly, and they’re constructing a ship, and they’re designing costumes, and they’re learning how to talk like— like _pirates_. Cole knows that he himself will play an important role in the upcoming mission. It’ll be easier for him – since he’s a ghost – to sneak aboard the Misfor—

They’re in the air on the ship they built, they’re dressed strangely, and Cole is filled with nervous energy. They’re approaching the enemy, and it’s _Cole’s_ job to put the plan in motion; it’s his job to rescue Jay. Lloyd is there, and Nya is there, and they’re all just so _scared_. ( _“What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you so afraid.” “I just hope Jay’s alright. It’s been so long, we don’t even know if he’s—” “Don’t say it. He’ll be okay. We’ve already lost so many. We’re not gonna lose him.”_ )

Cole’s dreams turn into nightmares.

He’s aboard the enemies ship, utterly concentrated on maintaining his invisibility, and he steals the key off the belt of someone walking by. He finds the room he’s looking for, and he’s setting down a bottle, and he’s ready to carry out his mission. But he hears his name, in voice so weak and pained and familiar that Cole’s heart almost stops beating. He turns and there’s—

Jay. Crawling slowly out of a corner, and whether he’d been _shoved_ into that corner or taken refuge there himself is something that Cole doesn’t know. Jay is— Jay is _hurt_ , in a way that none of them have ever really had to deal with before. He’s been hurt continuously, _purposefully_ , and Cole’s not Kai, but he thinks that now he understands anger, almost as much as he understands guilt. 

Jay is propping himself up on shaking arms, looking up at him with a single terrified, lost, hopeful eye, but he doesn’t look _sure_ that what he's seeing is real ( _“Cole, is that you?”_ ) and Cole wants him away from this place and these people _now_. The whole left side of Jays face is bruised, an eyepatch covering that eye, and his hair is matted, maybe with blood—

Cole uses the key to unlock the vengestone ball and chain on Jay’s – _swollen, bloody_ – ankle. The ball is nearly as big as Jay is, and it’s _heavy_ , and Jay is small, has always been smaller than most of them, but now he’s _gaunt_. He can see the bones in his wrist, can feel them as he helps Jay to his feet, and by god, he’s trying to stay positive but all he wants to do is break down and cry and maybe destroy this whole stupid ship and everyone on it—

He forgets the venom. Jay is hurt, and Cole can’t focus on anything else, can’t even focus enough to go invisible again. They make it to the deck, Jay barely keeping up, and then he realizes what he’s done. Jay is weak, and Cole can’t leave him alone, but he knows that he needs to go back, that it’s the only way to stop—

They all get captured, because Cole couldn’t do his job right. Nya is taken somewhere else, and he and Jay and Lloyd are shoved into a hole and chained with vengestone. It’s dark, and the ground is cold and hard and spotted with dark stains of blood. The trapped, resigned look on Jay’s face and the matching blood stains on his ripped, dirty Gi say that he’s been here before, that he’s used to being in the dark. The only difference is that Jay had been _alone_. Jay had been alone and at the mercy of—

Jay tells them that they shouldn’t have come for him, and Cole is too shocked to say anything. He only feels shame burning low in his stomach, because Jay is in front of him, beaten and tired and halfway to being broken, and Cole can’t fix it. 

It’s some time later that they’re let out of their cell, which Jay can barely climb out of, and they’re dragged into the daylight. Nya is there suddenly, yelling angrily, the way she sounds when she’s scared out of her mind. Cole is pushed out onto a plank, and far, far below him is nothing but water. He will surely die if he falls, but maybe there’s a way out of this. He asks for last words. ( _“I wish— “_ )

They fall, the clouds catch them, and Lloyd makes Jay and Nya fall further. Cole and Lloyd are captured, and they’re gone. They’re gone like Zane and Kai are gone. They’ve been wished away. 

Cole wakes up, gasping for breath, guilt and worry clinging to him like spider webs. He doesn’t go back to sleep until he’s too tired to stay awake.

He dreams one more time, of being pulled out of a place that feels separate from time. He’s in a ruined shed, and Jay is standing there, still looking weak and skinny and tired, but determined. There is still bruising on his face, but they’ve got the whole team back together and they’re ready to take on the world.

They lose. 

He’s standing to the side, staring down at Nya, who’s gone. Gone for good, gone for real. Jay is holding her, and Jay is crying, and Jay is still hurt and bruised and afraid. 

( _“I wish that you’d taken my hand, and no one ever found that teapot in the first place.”_ )

Jay saves them all. 

Cole wakes up.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay’s been acting strange, and in light of recent nightmares, Cole is paying closer attention than usual.

On the surface, Jay seems fine. He trains with them, he eats with them, and he makes jokes like there’s no tomorrow. But that’s the problem. 

When they train, he seems distracted, and he flinches like they’ll _hurt_ him. He forgets to use his element, like he’s not aware that it’s an option, and when they call it quits he looks surprised. He looks _haunted_. He’s tense for hours afterward, and they all chalk it up to poor sleep. Nya looks sad, when she thinks that no one is watching. 

When they eat, Jay either eats like it’s his last meal or he eats like he’s already _had_ a meal. His eating habits fluctuate between those two extremes, and Cole can only look on in confusion and concern. Jay won’t meet anyone’s eyes.

And Jay makes jokes, Jay has _always_ made jokes, but never quite this desperately. He’ll talk like he does when they’re heading into battle, all nerves and fear disguised as humor, and that would be fine, except now he sounds like that _all the time_. Even on their days off, he seems restless, and he’s easily spooked. 

Cole starts paying even _more_ attention, because there’s a part of him that feels like he should, like _everyone_ should.

He notices that every now and then, Jay walks with a limp. He hasn’t had a recent injury there, as far as Cole knows, and it’s this that makes him wonder. Because Jay is limping on the same foot that had been hurt in _Cole’s dreams_. He knows – without knowing _how_ he knows – that these things are connected.

At first, Cole thinks that him and Jay are sharing dreams, somehow. That they’re really living through this stuff together and it’s impacting their waking world. 

Cole dismisses that theory pretty quickly, because Jay would’ve told them if that were the case, and Jay has been a lot of things lately, but he hasn’t looked _confused_. He seems to know what’s going on, and for whatever reason, he’s not telling. It seems like a familiar situation, somehow.

It’s all of this that leads Cole to conclude that something _big_ has happened, and that the only one who is fully aware of it is Jay, and maybe Nya. It’s obvious that the knowledge is taking its toll, and Cole resolves to fix it, to at least _try_.

He finds Jay sitting on the deck of the Bounty after everyone else has gone to sleep, and Cole sits down next to him.

“Hey,” Cole says softly, because something in the air feels fragile.

“Hey,” Jay replies, just as quiet, not quite as happy as it was probably meant to sound.

“You doing okay?” Cole asks, and Jay huffs a laugh like he can’t stop himself.

“Yeah,” Jay says. “Just tired.”

Cole knows that he’s lying. People who are ‘just tired’ are not scared of their own shadow. People who are ‘just tired’ do not look as lost and small as Jay does. 

“What about you, huh?” Jay asks, a graceful change of subject and a performing smile on his face. “You’ve been pretty weird lately.”

It’s as good an opening as any, and Cole might never be brave enough to take it again.

“I’ve been having dreams,” says Cole, and Jay’s face goes carefully blank.

“Dreams?”

Cole nods. “Nightmares, sometimes.”

“Oh.”

They sit in silence for a moment, watching the sky get darker.

“Do— do you want to talk about it?” Jay asks finally, and Cole turns to look him in the eye.

Jay is blinking at him nervously, knees pulled to his chest, and Cole is tired of not knowing why his best friend is hurting. He’s tired of feeling like there’s nothing he can do.

“They’re a little weird,” Cole warns, and Jay quirks a half smile.

“Well, _you’re_ a little weird,” says Jay, albeit fondly, “so that tracks.”

Cole chuckles and reaches a hand of to ruffle Jay’s messy hair, chest squeezing when the smaller tenses for a split second. 

“They’re about you,” Cole says, before he can talk himself out of it, and Jay’s eyes cut up to his.

“M-me?”

“You.”

Jay laughs nervously, quietly. “What am I— I mean, I’m not doing something super weird in your dreams, right?”

Cole takes the leap.

“Unless you think that cosplaying as a pirate is weird, then no, not really.”

The effect is immediate, and heartbreaking. 

Jay’s breath hitches, and he hunches closer to the tops of his knees. His hands are shaking, and he still tries to reply.

“A pi-pirate, huh?” Jay says, voice strained like he’s trying to hold on to a bar of soap in the shower. “Peg leg and everything?”

“Nah,” says Cole, watching carefully out of the corner of his eye. “Just an eyepatch.”

Jay exhales shakily, a trembling hand coming up to hover above his left eye almost unconsciously, and that’s what sells it for Cole.

“I don’t normally remember my dreams, you know,” Cole begins, tone conversational, “but lately I can’t seem to forget them.”

“Yeah?” Jay croaks, and Cole hums an affirmative.

“They started pretty simply, where we actually went to Stiix, but couldn’t find Clouse, and next thing I know we’re in prison. Then I’m, like, seriously trying to get a _lantern_ , and Kai just vanishes from my dreams at this point. Then I’m talking to you in a mansion, and then we’re on a boat and then we _crash_ the boat, and Zane is gone. Then we’re on an island and fighting someone I can never seem to get a clear view of, and you get taken away, and we—”

Cole stops talking, because Jay has fully curled into a ball, sitting with his head on his knees, breathing erratically. Cole touches his shoulder, and Jay jerks away, looking at him with wide, wet eyes. 

“Hey,” Cole says softly, and prays that no one hears his heart breaking. “It’s okay, Jay. You’re okay.”

The tears in Jay’s eyes overflow, and his shoulders heave with a silent sob. Cole opens his arms, an invitation, and Jay squeezes his eyes shut and falls into them. Cole hugs him tight, can feel him shaking like a leaf, like he’s about to fall apart. Cole vows to keep that from happening, resting his chin on Jay’s head and making soothing noises. 

It’s minutes or hours later that Jay calms down, sagging in Cole’s arms and breathing shakily, but steadily. Cole takes a few deep breaths himself, more emotional than he’d like to admit, and he pulls back enough to see Jay’s exhausted face.

Jay avoids his eyes, wiping at his face with the sleeve of his pajamas, sniffling quietly. Cole sighs.

“Jay?” Cole prompts, keeping his voice low and gentle.

Jay doesn’t look up when he answers, quiet and unsure. “Yeah?”

“They’re not just dreams, are they?” Cole asks, knowing the answer but needing to hear it.

Jay is silent, and Jay is only silent like this when he’s about to twist the truth.

“And don’t think you can lie to me,” says Cole, and there’s an echo in there, somewhere. “I know you too well.”

Jay looks up at him in vague surprise, meeting his eyes and holding his gaze. Cole stares back, hoping that Jay can find whatever he’s looking for. 

Eventually, Jay’s shoulders sag and he sighs, giving him a sad smile.

“You’re right,” Jay says, with something like resignation in his voice. “They’re not just— just dreams. Or, they weren’t. They didn’t used to be. Or, uh, they never were?”

Cole can’t help the amused grin that’s tugging at his lips, even though he’s hopelessly confused. Jay sees his expression, and huffs.

“It’s not that easy to explain, okay?” Jay says defensively, and then he deflates, like there’s a weight on his shoulders that no one can see. “It’s a— a _long_ story.”

Cole can see the results of said ‘long story’ sitting in front of him, turning his best friend into a ghost of himself. He wants to know, and he wants to _help_. Jay has been carrying a secret burden – a _heavy_ burden – for far too long, and Cole— 

Well, he has super strength. This is something that he can do. Especially if it’s for Jay.

“Tell me?” Cole asks.

Jay does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that this is my first fic for the ninjago fandom lol. It kind of happened on accident, but i think i like it :)
> 
> I might eventually add more to this, probably with the other ninja and how they learn about Skybound. Let me know if anyone would be interested in that. Hope you're having a good day!


	2. Kai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai has a talent for saying exactly the wrong things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to add more to this! This took me quite a while to write, and it's pretty different from Cole's chapter, but I hope you like it!

Kai is known for a lot of things, but tact is not one of them.

Back when it was just him and Nya and a blacksmith shop, _she_ had mostly been the one to talk to the customers. It was better that way, and several incidents proved that to be true.

Kai _can_ be polite; that’s not the problem. He just has a habit of consistently and accidentally saying _exactly_ the wrong thing. Nya teases him ruthlessly for it, while Kai stews in frustration, because there is nothing worse than trying your best and failing anyway. There is nothing worse than hurting the people you were meant to help.

Granted, usually it wasn’t that big a deal, ending with confusion at best and hurt feelings at worst. That time he told a customer that his wife would love the knives he’d bought came to mind. How was Kai supposed to know that the guy’s wife had passed three weeks ago? He’d been _trying_ to be _nice_ , but it never quite worked out that way.

Yeah, needless to say, customer service has never been his thing. Luckily, he really doesn’t have much reason to talk to strangers anymore, what with being a ninja and all. Sure, there’s the occasional – okay, _frequent_ – evil villain that he’s got to make small talk with, the brief interactions he has with fans, and there’s always a few random people they encounter on their adventures, but he can handle that. He’s hardly alone during those times anyway, and there’s always one of his friends on hand to take over if he says something wrong. Kai likes it that way, likes being reminded that they have each other’s backs, both in intense battle _and_ normal everyday situations. 

So Kai had thought that his days of hurting people with random thoughtless words were over. He has a family now, a big one, and they know each other well enough to know what lines aren’t safe to cross. Except…

Maybe Kai is out of the loop, or maybe there’s something that no one’s telling him, or something he _forgot_ , because it’s happening again. He’s saying all the wrong things.

It starts small, like most disasters do. They’re training, the six of them by themselves, because Master Wu went out to buy tea or something, and Kai is set to spar with Jay. 

And he wouldn’t say it on pain of death, but sparring with Jay is _fun_. They’re well matched with their energy levels, both competitive enough to make it a challenge, and their trash talk is _extremely_ entertaining. To them, at least. They can usually ignore the other ninja groaning on the sidelines. 

But something is different this time. It’s their first serious training session since that false alarm with Clouse and Stiix a few weeks ago, and Jay seems to be having a nervous day. Now, everyone knows that Jay struggles with more anxiety than the average human being, but usually Kai can pick out a reason. Whether it be that Jay had too much caffeine that day, or he didn’t sleep well the night before, or they just won a big adrenaline-filled battle, or _whatever_ it may be. _Usually_ , Kai can figure it out, and he knows exactly how long it takes for Jay to come out of it; he knows what helps and he knows what hurts the process. 

But Jay has been nervous for days, and Kai _doesn’t know why_. It bothers him, because these are the things that _matter_. This is family, and he can’t figure it out. 

Part of him hopes that sparring with Jay will help to bring him out of his funk, to restore some sense of normalcy. He wants to _help_ , and this is one of the only ways that Kai knows how. 

He holds up his sword and sends a playful smirk Jay’s way as his opponent steps into their little makeshift circle. Their teammates surrounding them are already groaning at the verbal sparring match that they know is coming, and Kai chuckles lightly to himself.

Jay catches the look on his face and rolls his eyes good-naturedly, pulling his weapon of choice – nunchucks, today – out of his belt. He’s nervous – Kai can tell by the way he keeps adjusting his grip on the handles – and that just won’t do. 

“You ready?” Kai asks, half genuine and half teasing, and he spins his sword in a lazy circle.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” says Jay, and he laughs a bit too breathily. “Ready to kick your butt.”

It’s hardly original banter, but Jay seems to be off his game, so he’ll let it pass. 

Jay comes closer, and he’s just a few scant feet in front of him when Kai scoffs and says, “You _wish_.”

And Kai may be tactless, but he’s not _oblivious_ , so he sees it when half his team tenses like he’s just summoned some ancient evil from the depths of the underworld. As if they haven’t faced _enough_ of those. 

Jay freezes in place, jaw clenched and hands faintly trembling, looking like he’s somewhere a million miles away from here. Nya chokes on air somewhere to his left, and Cole takes a half step forward before Kai’s even finished saying the word ‘wish’. 

Nya’s started coughing, and Kai glances at her with mild concern only to see her glaring back at him. Lloyd is thumping her on the back, looking about as confused as Kai feels. 

Kai turns back to Jay just in time to watch as his nunchucks slip from his grip and clatter loudly to the ground. Jay is pale, and he’s breathing like they’ve already gone a few rounds, and he’s backing up towards the entrance to the monastery at a startling pace. 

“Gotta…gotta go do something,” Jay wheezes, a poor attempt at salvaging whatever the heck is happening right now, and then he spins and stumbles through the doors, disappearing. Cole brushes past Kai and follows him without a word, shoulders tense.

Kai turns to Nya, who has thankfully stopped coughing, and he looks at her with pleading eyes. Her glare has softened some, and she heaves a great sigh, glancing in the direction Jay and Cole had gone. Kai now knows for _sure_ that something is going on, that Jay and Nya and Cole all know about it, and that apparently they’re not willing share with the class.

“Nya?” Kai says, a hundred questions in one word, and Nya shakes her head like a hundred words wouldn’t be enough to explain.

“Let’s end here for today,” she says, and she sounds tired, she sounds sad.

Kai shares an uncertain look with Lloyd and Zane, but they agree easily enough.

Nya, Jay, and Cole are absent until dinner, and then they show up and everything goes back to how it was. 

Except it _doesn’t_ , really.

Because Kai keeps messing up. In the _strangest_ ways.

He asks Jay for help catching a spider – intending to release it outside, because Zane will be disappointed if they kill it – and Jay hightails it in the opposite direction, blabbering about how he’s just remembered that he has somewhere he needs to be. Kai scowls at the empty space beside him, and spends thirty minutes chasing the spider until he gives up.

Then it’s cleaning day, and Kai innocently hands Jay a mop. It’s the blue ninjas turn to swab the deck of the Bounty, but before Kai can even _blink_ , Jay is shoving the object back into his hands, claiming that he really can’t do that today because he actually burned his hands inventing that morning, even though Kai knows good and well that Jay had been playing video games up until five minutes ago. He’s gone before Kai can question him, and he’s left standing in the hallway, taking his growing frustrations out on the mop, which is left with a handprint burned into the wooden handle.

On a routine mission – petty robbery, or whatever it had been – Kai suggests that they split up, and Jay looks at him like he’s just been terribly betrayed by someone he trusted. Nya makes the point that they could just split up into _teams_ – which is what Kai meant in the _first place_ – and she grabs Jay and Cole and drags them away before anyone can get a full sentence out. Kai maybe fights a little too hard against low-level thieves, but Zane and Lloyd don’t call him out for it. 

It continues like this for days, with Kai growing more and more frustrated; more and more ~~concerned~~ _confused_. 

All movies that have anything to do with pirates mysteriously disappear overnight. Jay goes pale every time they fly the Bounty, and stays that way for several minutes until he calms down. Sometimes, Kai will wake up and find that Jay has squeezed himself into Cole’s bed, and other times when Kai wakes, he’s nowhere to be found. Jay jumps a mile in the air when Kai comes up behind him, and he really didn’t mean to startle him, it’s just— 

They’re ninja. They’re generally light on their feet. And usually they’d be able to sense someone behind them before they got close enough to touch. 

Jay seems to bounce between constant awareness and complete obliviousness to his surroundings, these days, and Kai wants to go on record saying that he does _not_ like it. Its worrying, and depressing, and frankly exhausting to watch.

It comes to head one day. Explosively, like all things are when Kai is involved. Because Kai lacks tact, and he also lacks the ability to express worry in a normal way. When he worries, it manifests itself as anger, or frustration, even though the last thing he wants is to be angry at the person he’s worried about. It’s a vicious cycle, and someone always seems to get hurt.

It happens on Kai’s least favorite day of the year: the anniversary of his parent’s disappearance. He used to want to be alone on this day, but now he takes comfort in being surrounding by his family, even though it can be suffocating at times. Him and Nya are the first ones awake that morning, and they stand in the kitchen and talk in low tones. Kai shares memories of his parents that Nya doesn’t have, and his sister smiles sadly at each happy moment.

Eventually, the rest of the team files in, bleary-eyed and yawning apart from Zane, who immediately starts cooking breakfast. Jay and Cole bicker over who gets what seat at the table, and Kai rolls his eyes and sits between Lloyd and Nya. It’s nice. He may not have his parents, but he still has a family. A family that he loves, a family that he would go to the ends of the earth for. 

At the end of a long, distraction-filled day, they pile into the sitting room to watch several movies. It goes well, with everyone taking turns making fun of the nonsensical plot points and pretending that they’re not crying during the emotional moments. They throw popcorn at each other, which inevitably turns into a competition to see who can catch the most pieces in their mouth. Zane wins, obviously, but Lloyd and Nya tie for second. 

It’s all perfectly _fine_ , until the last movie. Kai doesn’t remember who picked it out, but he’s sure that whoever it was had never actually seen it before. _None_ of them had, so it took them all by surprise when the parents of the main characters were killed near the end of the movie. 

Kai spirals immediately, and they watch the last five minutes of the movie in tense silence, not really watching at all. 

The credits roll, and Kai stays staring into nothing, hating that he’s bothered so much by something so stupid. Any other day, he’d probably be okay. He wouldn’t be _happy_ , but he’d be _fine_. Today, though, it’s different.

He thinks about how he doesn’t really know what happened to his parents, and he thinks about how Nya doesn’t have many memories with them, and he thinks about all the things he’d ask them if they were here. 

“I’m sorry,” Lloyd says, quiet and a bit embarrassed, and _oh_ , he’s the one who’d chosen that movie.

“It’s okay, Lloyd,” Nya whispers back, but he can tell that it affects her too.

There’s silence for a while, no one quite knowing what to say. 

“Sorry guys, I just— it really shouldn’t bother me this much,” Kai says eventually, a little angry, and a bit desperate to break a tension.

“There is no need to apologize,” Zane says softly, eyes glowing warmly in the dim room. “I would think that we are all effected by something like this.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Cole says, morbid humor in his voice. “My mother died a long time ago, Zane’s father is dead, Kai and Nya lost their parents, and then there’s Lloyd’s whole… situation.”

Lloyd chuckles sadly and says, “I guess we all got the short end of the stick.”

“Yeah,” Jay whispers, and Kai only hears it because he’s right next to him.

Kai doesn’t know what makes him say it, he only knows that weeks of worry and building frustrations and the fact that today is what it is has finally tipped him over the edge. 

“Except for Jay,” Kai says, perhaps unable to keep envy out of his voice. “Jay’s doing just fine. Most of us aren’t so lucky.”

The room goes momentarily quiet, a new kind of tension taking over. He hears Cole inhale sharply, like he does when he’s trying to hold himself back, and he’s pretty sure that Jay’s not actually breathing anymore. 

“ _Kai—_ ” Nya starts, sounding exhausted, like she’s finally run out of patience for him and his tactlessness. 

“ _What?”_ Kai asks, suddenly on defensive, already feeling guilt creep into his stomach but not yet ready to acknowledge it.

“I honestly can’t believe you sometimes,” Nya says, and she’s quietly dropped her head into her hands.

“What? I didn’t mean— Look, Jay is—” _fine_ , is what he was going to say, but when he turns to confirm it, he’s faced with an empty seat. Jay is gone.

Jay is gone, and Kai hadn’t heard him leave. Sometimes he forgets what they are – what they’ve had to become. He forgets that they’re ninja instead of destiny’s scapegoat, although usually there isn’t much difference.

Regardless, Jay is gone, and Kai realizes that something is not quite right. He realizes that this – like everything else seems to be – is connected to whatever it is that Jay, Nya, and Cole are keeping secret, and Kai is tactless, and grieving, and he’s _tired_ of not knowing. 

Cole and Nya stand up like they’re going to leave, and Kai can’t do this anymore. He’s sick of being left out. So, he stands up.

“I’ll go,” he says, and Cole and Nya share a weighted look.

After several heavy seconds, Cole huffs and sits back down, and Nya turns to him with deadly serious eyes.

“Be nice,” she says, her tone of voice suggesting many, many consequences if he’s not, and Kai swallows hard. 

He nods and leaves the room in search of his missing brother.

Kai knows his family, so he knows that when Jay is upset – when he’s _really_ upset – he likes to feel small. And there’s no better place to feel small than looking down at the world from the Bounty, so Kai makes his way up to the deck.

They’re flying tonight, making lazy, large circles high above Ninjago City. The neon lights cause the world to glow, and Kai finds Jay by his silhouette, sitting at the very edge of the Bounty with his legs swinging off the side. Kai feels a little nervous that he’s so close, so near to falling; he may be reckless but he’s also an older brother. He takes a deep, calming breath and sits next to Jay, Nya’s warning ringing in his ears.

The wind is gently ruffling their hair, cool but not frigid, and Jay shivers. Kai has a hunch that it’s not because of the breeze. Jay says nothing, and that’s reason enough to believe that he’s not okay.

“Look, Jay, I’m— I’m sorry,” Kai says, breaking the silence that he hates so much, getting the apology out of the way. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I didn’t want you to leave.” 

Jay sighs, shoulders hunched like he’s weighed down by a million things.

“It’s not your fault,” Jay says quietly. “Not _really_ , anyways.”

What’s he supposed to say to _that?_

“What do you mean?” Kai asks.

Jay just shrugs. “I can’t hold what you don’t know against you.”

“Oh,” says Kai, and then, “What?”

Jay huffs, leaning his forehead against the railing in front of him, seemingly deep in thought, and Kai sits in confused silence. _Be patient_ , he tells himself.

Eventually, Jay lifts his head and turns to him. His blue eyes are nearly glowing in the dark, reflecting the neon light emanating from the city below. He looks serious – in a way he’s never quite been before – and he seems older, somehow. Kai absentmindedly wonders when all his little siblings grew up.

“Kai,” says Jay, voice faintly trembling with whatever he’s decided to do. “Where do we get our powers from?”

Kai furrows his brow and fights the urge to scoff, or do something equally stupid. He’s nervous, okay? And the answer to the question is something that they all know by heart. He doesn’t know why Jay would ask him _now_ , but if this is how it’s going to go, then he’ll play along.

“Uh, our parents?” Kai replies, wondering if he should get Zane to scan Jay for brain damage.

“Yes, so…” 

Jay trails off, and Kai says nothing, utterly baffled and a little concerned for the health of his friend. Jay stares at him in what could only be classified as disappointed awe. Kai stares back, uncomprehendingly. 

“ _You_ got _your_ powers from your dad,” Jay says, like he’s leading him somewhere, but Kai is clueless.

“Yes?” 

Jay drags a hand down his face, but his mouth is twitching at the corners like he wants to smile.

“Alright, okay. _Kai,”_ Jay begins, and Kai nods to get him to continue, raising a single eyebrow. “Where do you think _I_ got my powers from?”

Kai opens his mouth in confidence, sure that he knows the answer, and nothing comes out. He’d honestly never thought about it before. Ed and Edna most definitely had _not_ had powers, _ever_ , at _any_ point in their lives, so where had Jay even come from?

Jay’s looking at him with a sort of dismayed amusement, and Kai is sick of being confused.

“Not— not Ed and Edna, I’m guessing,” Kai says slowly, and Jay barks a single, quiet laugh.

“No, Kai, not them,” says Jay, and then he turns his gaze to the city below with a furrowed brow. “I’m adopted.”

Kai nearly chokes on his own spit, which really would’ve been embarrassing for everybody. Luckily, he saves himself by coughing once and clearing his throat very enthusiastically before he responds. 

“ _What?_ You’re a— _oh,”_ Kai stammers through what ought to be a demand for an explanation, except he can’t really pull himself together in time.

Jay just nods, legs still swinging over the edge. 

“How did— I mean, when did you find out?” Kai asks, because how long has this been something that he hasn’t been told? How long has Jay been consciously keeping this secret?

“That question is a lot more complicated than it should be, you know,” Jay says casually. “ _Technically_ , the answer is never.”

“…You, uh, you lost me,” Kai says.

“My parents told me about it,” Jay explains, and doesn’t seem to realize that he’s shaking. “Except it happened in an alternate timeline that I erased, so it didn’t _actually_ happen. Well, it _did_ , but I’m the only one who remembers it so it doesn’t really— No, wait, Nya remembers, but she wasn’t there when I found out ‘cause she was wearing a moustache at a police station, and then she was mad at me when we crashed on that island so we didn’t really talk about it, but I—”

“Should I get Zane?” Kai interrupts, head spinning. “This seems like a medical issue—”

“No, it’s— it’s not,” Jay says, and he sighs. “Not always.”

“Jay, buddy,” Kai says, resisting the urge to drop his head in his hands, “you gotta give me something to work with, here. What’s going on?”

Jay’s shoulders slump and his face crumples, like all he was made of was false bravado that was wearing away under the strain of its own existence. Kai feels like maybe this whole thing is bigger than he imagined, and he thinks that maybe he’s let it go on for far too long. 

Kai is tactless, but he’s also Jay’s big brother, and Jay is _hurting_. He’s going to do something about it. Whether that means beating someone up or carrying Jay to bed, he’s going to do it, because this is just as important as saving Ninjago. This is _family._

Kai puts a comforting hand on Jay’s shoulder, and Jay lets out a shaky breath, turning to him with glassy eyes and a fragile smile.

“I’ll start from the beginning?” Jay says uncertainly, and Kai nods encouragingly, faintly smiling.

Jay talks, and Kai listens.

(Later, Cole will find him silently fuming in the kitchen, and they’ll talk about how they feel like they’ve failed, and how much they ~~wish they could~~ want to punch Nadakhan’s lights out. Then Cole will nod at him somberly and he’ll show Kai his favorite places to let out some steam; Kai knows anger well, but Cole hides it better. 

Somewhere in the forest surrounding the monastery there are craters in the earth, scorched black by fire and covered in ash.

Kai goes home to his not-dead sister and half-broken brother, and he tries to pick up the pieces.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tone of this is super different from Cole's chapter, as I said, but let me know if you liked it! This took a while to figure out, and I'm not super sure about it but I'm not completely unsatisfied either. 
> 
> Comment/Kudos if you have time :)


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